Stop Self-Sabotaging and People-Pleasing: 4 Tips to Shift your Thinking and Conquer Your Goals

My story

I’m here to encourage, empower, and guide you by providing the space and tools to help you shift your confidence and find your voice.

I am Crystal Dela Cruz

free guide

Shift Your Self-Confidence

Yes, I said it! This post is MEANT to be in your face. Because if I don’t confront you with these truths, who will? Read on if you’re ready to take on your biggest opponent – yourself.

Fear, as we understand it, is a huge barrier that prevents us from wholeheartedly chasing our dreams. Interestingly, much of this fear stems from external influences and our own negative self-talk. We’re human, right? Yet, what is the purpose of getting in our own way? Quick activity: Take a moment to catalog your fears – do it mentally or on a note pad. This quick act might reveal a surprisingly lengthy list. Common fears include:

  • Fear of trying new things
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of losses
  • Fear of disappointing others
  • Fear of instability
  • Fear of lack/scarcity

These fears are all valid! You are seen and heard. Though, if you’re ready to move forward and in need of a wake-up call, consider this it. This message is for you. When fears hinder your progress, they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Your mission, “should you choose to accept it,” involves breaking free from these fears to finally achieve the success you deserve. Here’s your mission:

Know What You WANT

TRULY ask yourself… “What does my heart desire?” Everything begins with a north star. What will fill your heart with joy, excitement, and adventure? Create a vision board or write down words that elicit positive feelings. Anytime you’re interrupted with negative thoughts, visualize that thought into a cloud and allow it to pass or turn it into a red balloon and POP IT. Focus on what you DO want. This simple mindfulness act will get you pumped to start planning toward that vision.

Eliminate Negative Self-Talk

Again with the negative self-talk, right? Remember, we are our own biggest critics. Learn how to HONOR and CALM your internal voices anytime they amplify your doubts and fears. Counteract them with positive affirmations, self-encouragement, and reminders of your achievements, strengths, and talents – reinforcing that your journey is far from over. Use “I AM” statements. “I am strong, I am powerful, I am capabale,” and so on so forth. Overcoming low self-confidence requires a shift in your internal narrative. By mastering this, you unlock the door to greater success.

Know Your Own Value

Recognize your strengths, knowledge, and talents. You possess value just as you are! And more can be unlocked by tapping into your inner resources. Now that you have an idea of what you want, document your strengths and talents. Consider what you bring to the table that will help you get one step closer to your vision. Jot down the ways your strengths and talents will impact the world. Your perceived “lack of experience” or ability is not the real obstacle; rather, it’s a lack of confidence. So acknowledge your contributions, embrace your uniqueness, your voice, and your capabilities. Focus on building your confidence. Still need help with this? Download my FREE confidence workbook here.

Find Ways to Improve Your Value

Now that you know what you bring to the table, commit to enhancing your skills and talents by investing time and resources in your personal growth toward what you want. Enroll in courses that equip you with the necessary tools and knowledge to refine your abilities. If time is a constraint, delegate tasks when possible. For example, if you excel in empathy but struggle with financial management, hiring a part-time bookkeeper can allow you to focus on nurturing your core talents and pursuing your objectives. If money is a constraint, it’s time to get creative. Work it into your monthly budget or find ways to make a little extra cash with a side hustle. If it’s important to you, you’ll make it happen. I can help you create a budget that works for you. Book time with me 1:1 today!

With these quick tips, you’ll be well on your way to taking steps toward the life you deserve and desire. Start practicing more positive self-talk, start taking action, and get moving! You’ve got this.

With love and light…

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  1. Nathan S says:

    So well said! Thanks for sharing Crystal!

My story

I’m here to encourage, empower, and guide you by providing the space and tools to help you shift your confidence and find your voice.

I am Crystal Dela Cruz

free guide

Shift Your Self-Confidence